Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

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Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:11 am

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Valynn Lionhart on Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:37 am

Fabulous! Truly funny! Very Happy

I won't go into details...but if men had "that time of the month", they'd want to be pampered and eat chocolate too!

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:05 am

Actually from what I've seen, guys do have a time of the month. Not physically but I've noticed a slight change in their emotions. Shocked

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Valynn Lionhart on Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:20 am

Yes, I agree with that, Syn. They still don't know how much the icky physical aspect sucks for women though. Wink

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:12 am

If men had 'true' periods they'd brag about the size of their tampons Wink

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:28 am

From what I read somewhere a long time ago, it has been "proven" (now I didn't check the source, so don't go crazy about this) that men DO have a period in the month, same as women, but less intense. I mean, after all, we don't eject blood from our bodies.

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Fink Dixel on Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:39 pm

I heard a theory from a friend of Hallie's. "Men are like Werewolves. There are moody the most during full moons" XD

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by AxelofMetropolis on Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:19 pm

It's actually true that men do have a time of the month. There are three cycles that your body goes through, physical, emotional, and I think intellectual. They each take different amounts of time to complete but I remember that physical is somewhere around 26ish, emotional is around 29 (looks familiar eh?), and intellectual is around 33. If you graph them from the day you're born they look like sin/cos curves and you can actually figure out when you're "supposed" to have a bad physical/emotional/intellectual day. I just can't, for the life of me, remember what they're called >_<
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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Sun Nov 29, 2009 10:24 pm

oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research Smile

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:45 am

Boy Soprano wrote:oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research Smile

It was like Skalmans (Professor Shellback) clock, except this told him when to duck flying pots and pans or go the pub.

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:32 am

Boy Soprano wrote:oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research Smile

I am quite interested in knowing how it works.

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:24 pm

Here's a little something my mom sent my husband. It's a wife's aggro radius.

http://www.ancientwarriors.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=68&t=13968&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sid=c5776a45b78adcbeaa2df6215d598fa8

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Pez of Metropolis on Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:31 pm

I am staying away from this post...
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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:32 pm

Nooooo! Read it!! It's hilarious!

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by AxelofMetropolis on Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:54 pm

Lulz at Laura's post >_<

Also, I figured out what the cycles are called. They are your biorhythms. Although it isn't exactly proven scientifically, I think it's true ^_^
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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Pez of Metropolis on Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:50 pm

Laura, i will not.
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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:52 pm

Then you will not be safe from woman aggro nor learn useful skills to deflect!

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Re: Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

Post by Guest on Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:22 pm

I think it's a pretty good post!

Some of the comparisons between RL and IG are really nice lol

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